don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
