I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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