Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
