Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
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Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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