I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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