i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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