You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
