I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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