I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
