my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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