Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
