Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
