Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize