It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
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Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
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can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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