i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize