He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
