Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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