Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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