but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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