I wanna bring you to show and tell
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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