Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
