You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
