Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How does it feel to date your dad?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
