awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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