D3 body, D1 cock
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You may now shotgun with the bride
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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