my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize