I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
