I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
