All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
