I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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