My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
