I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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