I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
