fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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