I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
