Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I am one with the molecules
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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