you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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