wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's rum buckets o'clock
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
