i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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