so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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