i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Randomize
