my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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