"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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