Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
