Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
