you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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