why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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