Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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