you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
