The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
