we're blogging at a bar
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
