somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
