i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
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You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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