Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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