I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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