Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
