You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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