even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
well you can't waste a boner
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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