I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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