i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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