well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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