and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
