wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
