Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
