I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
