Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
